I've taken nearly two months off from writing. A crisis point with my mental health overlapped with the demise of my laptop, and I rolled with the universe and gave myself permission to step away for a bit. I put my house projects on hold as well, and committed to just being; taking care of myself, my child, my marriage, and the day to day workings of our home. The perspective shift was much needed.
I had forgotten that I started this writing project nearly two years ago for myself. Much like my short lived Etsy store, I let myself get wrapped up in the pervasive messaging that a project is only "doing well" if it generates income, and I sought to increase my visibility in order to garner the attention and dollars of the sponsors I was supposed to be courting. The stress of this was totally self-imposed and ridiculous, and part of why it took me two months to get back to writing. As someone with fundamentally anti-capitalist values, I found myself imagining that if I just got enough followers, enough page views, some monetization option that didn't involved selling my soul would magically appear.
There are many bloggers who do very well for themselves with creating their own courses and e-books, and maybe I'll do that some day, but I don't have any ideas I especially feel called to sell to you right now. At the moment, I'm retraining my focus on the reasons I started writing in the first place:
1. To connect with other humans who felt similar feelings and lived similar struggles.
2. To process my own thoughts and emotions through writing.
That's it. Now that I have worrying about my niche, my audience, Facebook and Google algorithms out of the way, I can get back to writing for myself, and for you, whoever you are. I keep thinking of this monologue when I think of my blogging "career."
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."
So I'll be back soon, writing whatever I feel like. I'll also be debuting a new, stripped down version of the Hey Jillian site that looks more the way I feel, hopefully before the new year is here. It will be much more mobile friendly, and hopefully that will facilitate some better discussions between us.