I thought treating my anxiety would make me a better housekeeper, instead it showed me the beauty of my messy house

August 17, 2018

I thought when I started depression and anxiety medication recently that my house would get cleaner. I imagined myself freeing up all kinds of mental bandwidth and finding myself suddenly able to keep our home perfectly clean (and Instagrammable.) As the meds start to work their magic, I am surprised, humbled, and slightly embarrassed of my vision of the perfectly clean home I thought a clean bill of mental health would afford me, and I find myself exhaling deeply as I discover the truth of what this release from my negative internal noise really affords me; an appreciation for what we have. 

I've been spending the last few weeks quietly adjusting to my new reality. It's so startling I can't fully describe the change and the release. My mother once described a career change she made as being like changing out of too tight shoes, and that's the best I can manage right now to talk about the change I'm undergoing.  This morning as I made my way through our quiet little house, I was struck by the beauty of the mess of it all. 

We have what we need. We have what we like. We live fully in this space and it supports our love and our work. I found myself snapping photos of the unstaged loveliness that is our everyday lives, and so I'm sharing them here with you; you who I assume also do not live in a staged home. We talk about comparing our everyday lives to others highlight reels; what if our highlight reels were a little more honest? What if you didn't move that laundry out of the frame? 

These are the photos I took this morning as I wandered quietly through my house in my pajamas. They're presented in the order they were taken, the order of what I see as I start my day. If you feel inspired to share too, I'd love to see your photos on IG; tag @heyjilliankirby and use the tag #highlightthemess.







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Hey, I'm Jillian, and I'm creating an extraordinary life on an ordinary budget. 

I'm just an actual person, trying to make sh*t work. I'm doing pretty okay at it.  About Me.

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Hey Jillian features articles on self-care and mental health, budget beauty, parenting, recipes and meal planning, DIY home improvement projects, and product reviews relevant to people who are interested in those things. xoxo Jillian
Jillian Kirby | Burlington, Vermont | Email me at hi@heyJilliankirby.com